The chip shop

So, I live on this massive long road, in a kind of "cosmopolitan" area that has lots of ethnic food shops, take aways and restaurants. I love it. It also has many prostitutes and sex shops, but that's not important.

The gf wants some chips, from a fish and chip shop (for those not familiar, it's a take-away that sells fried battered fish and chips). Woot, there's one just by my block. So I go in there. It's 9:35pm, and it closes at 10pm. I ask for two portions of chips. She says she only has enough for one. So I ask her to cook some more and she refuses, saying "We shut at ten".

Lazy. Fucking. Bitch.

I am incredulous. I feel like reaching over and dumping her stupid head in the boiling oil and laughing as her nose and ears are burned to a crisp. I make my feelings known by storming out.

So I go to a second fish and chip shop; it even has "cod" in the name, in case you were mistaken about what it sells. Apart from that's misleading. I go in there, and the menu is all fried chicken. Furthermore, the chips are not real cut chips like you get in a chippy, they're those frozen,.preprepared ones. I storm out of there too.

On to the final chippy up the road. Here, it's a chinese place that also sells chips. I buy two large portions at £1.30 each, and they are huge, and also lovely.

On the way back home I firebomb the first chippy, laughing maniacally as the girl who wouldn't cook me more chips melts in a storm of napalm. Silly bitch.